Green Chilli Naperville

(by Naveen)

Green Chilli
5019 Ace Ln
Naperville, IL 60564

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Green Chilli

Green Chilli Naperville Review: Awful

It was Friday evening and the end of a hectic week. We decided to take it easy and eat out to give our tired souls some rest and treat ourselves to something delicious.

But with Evil lurking in all corners in the form of Lousy Indian Restaurants, simple souls like us often get our hopes dashed.

Having recently come across the new Indian restaurant 'Green Chilli' in Naperville, IL, we decided to give it a try and bless them with our presence.

The restaurant was attractive from outside and had a fresh, new look in the inside. The furniture, towels, table cloth etc. looked new and clean. We formed a mental impression of good food the moment we stepped in.

Alas, little did we know that we were signing up for an evening of torture!

Agony Begins

There was no one at the entrance to seat us and hence we waited. After a couple of minutes, a nice looking waitress walked by asking us to wait until she cleaned up the tables. I was left scratching my head as there were several clean vacant tables.

Then, another guy walked past asking if we wished to be seated. He took us to an oddly big table for two people and then upon our request let us sit at another table that was more convenient for two people.

Five minutes pass, there's no sign of waiter, water or menu.

Then, another guy stopped by to leave a couple of menus. After scanning the menu, we ordered Salt Lassi, Mango Lassi, Sweet Corn Soup, Idly Sambar, Veg Fried Rice and Raita.

Five minutes passed. 10 minutes passed. No sign of drinks or food. The first waitress popped up asking if our order was taken and asked if we had ordered Lemonade! We asked her to get our Lassi first since we were starving and thus she vanished.

After several minutes of watching the waiters run around helter-skelter like drunken monkeys, the guy who took our order stopped by and served our food order without bringing out the drinks. We reminded him about the drinks and he had no clue! He went away leaving us to stare at the Sweet Corn Soup and pathetic looking Veg. Friend Rice.

Then, another guy came asking what drinks we actually ordered since he was not the one who took the order originally!

Will this Chaos ever end??

Balaji! Rama! where are you?

Finally we gave up and started eating what was served and then a few minutes later the Lassi's arrived.

Torment Continues

The first sip of the Salt Lassi left us gasping for air.

Pukeworthy, sir. Pukeworthy.

It left us wondering if we had made enemies who would go to the extent of killing us with such an excess of salt.

To cleanse our mouth, we took a sip of the Mango Lassi, which turned out to be another stale spit-worthy liquid. These nincompoops added some essence to the Lassi and didnt mix it well. It looked as if the lassi was bloodstained!

Green Chilli Naperville Mango LassiHorrible Mango Lassi
Idly had the distinct feel and taste of ready to make Idly mix.

Sambar was cold with chilli power water floating on top.

Did these morons ever taste Idly Sambar? Living in a neighborhood filled with South Indians restaurants I guess the only way these jokers could differentiate was by taking Chutney off the sides.

And there was no Chutney. Hey, which jackass serves Idli without Chutney?

One look at the Sweet Corn Soup and we were questioning whether these Chutiyas added corn in Tomato Soup or Tomato sauce in Sweet Corn soup. It was tasteless starchy broth with no flavor. Also when the Soup came to the table it looked it may have had a turbulent journey from the kitchen - shaken sufficiently to give it pre-eaten look.. or was it?? :(

Green Chilli Naperville Sweet Corn SoupSweet Corn Soup - Tasteless Broth
On the same lines of the Soup disaster was the Veg. Fried Rice.

Was it the result of Jeera Rice getting f%cked by Veg Biriyani?

Or did the Veg. Pulao eat Bisi Bela Bath and excrete this thing out?

Either way, the lumpy, greasy and sticky abomination was most repelling in taste.

Green Chilli Naperville Veg Fried RiceVeg Fried Rice - An Abomination
Patting ourselves on the back for not ordering any more food, we asked for the bill.

Endless Torture

Despite being ready to pay and leave, we waited patiently for several minutes for the bill and it never turned up. Meanwhile another guy who is perhaps the owner's Machan (Saala in Hindi) because he wasn't in the uniform, was cleaning the table next to us which was left unattended since we came in.

He stood annoyingly close with his ass inches away from our table pointing at our food. He stood that way several times for many minutes.

Finally tired of waiting, I went over to the billing counter with anger. But, soon the anger was overcome by the agonizing stench of some cleaning liquid from either their kitchen or restroom. It reminded me of Phenyl.

After making the payment, we beat a hasty retreat from this so-called Indian restaurant to salvage whatever was left of our life.

Green Chilli - Verdict

If you are tired and lazy then order Dominos or Pizza Hut's pizzas and you won't regret it.

If you are turned on by Lousy Service, Appalling Food and Nauseating Stench then Green Chilli is the right place for you.

For those who love to retain their sanity, stay far, far away from this place. This place deserves not a minute of your patronage.

By the way, we salvaged some mental peace on the way back after picking up a Spicy Andhra Dosa from Hot Breads. Now... that is another story for another time. ©

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